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March 03, 2024

So, last time I posted, it was short and I stated I'd been having some mental issues. That's true, I was and still am to some extent, but not quite as badly. This coming Tuesday will mark 6 weeks since I had to have Max put to sleep, and it still haunts me so much. I'll be driving home from work and just think about those last few minutes of his life, how his little body fought to stay with me, and it just breaks me. Every single time. My thoughts have gotten so dark, my mind so low, my depression so deep, that I just think of moving on to my Other Home so often. That is until Monday, Feb. 19, when I came home from work to discover the picture that hangs above Ian's bed had fallen off the wall. It was laying on the floor behind his bed, the frame, but not the glass, broken. I figured it had just fallen, no big deal, mainly because I was in a dark space when I arrived home and didn't think anything at all about it. Later on though, once the dark funk had worn off enough for me to actually look at the scene, I began to become suspicious. First of all, the picture isn't heavy, so it really shouldn't have fallen at all. Then I looked at the nail, and the wire was still attached to the nail. The nail was bent downwards and the wire still dangling from it had the two hooks that had fit into the frame on each side. When I looked closer at the frame, I could see a chunk of the frame had torn out of it, right where one of the hooks attached. And where the other hook had attached, it was obvious that had cracked from something as well. To me, it looked as though some kind of force had struck the picture off the wall. The picture was just too light for all of this destruction to have come from its weight, and my cat, Maggie, could not have knocked it off the wall either. And there was simply no one or anything else alive that could have done it.

It takes a bit for me just to jump to the conclusion that something paranormal happened, but I literally ruled out every other possibility. Some force had hit that frame hard enough for it to bend the nail and break the frame where the hooks fit into it. As the implications sank into my brain, it dawned on me that I've been in a very negative place for weeks, and that negativity can invite unwanted "visitors" into the an area. And that sometimes those negative entities, for lack of a better word, can not only feed on that negativity, but cause the negativity to expand and deepen. So maybe my depression called out to the unknown, called out to some negative entity, be it a malicious spirit or even a demon, and that entity in turn kept itself fed by keeping my negative energy flowing. But then came the question of, if that was the case, why did it strike the picture off the wall? I have no explanation for that, but after a while, I did reach out to the A Paranormal Chicks group that I'm part of on Facebook. This group is formed of the fans of the A Paranormal Chicks podcast. Not only the fans, but Donna and Kerri, who are the podcast, are part of the group as well. I received a lot of support on there, and many suggestions on what I can do to cast out the negative entity. Hopefully, as of tonight, that is taken care of and I won't have to deal with it anymore. If there ever was one.

At this point, dear reader, you are probably questioning my sanity, and well, let's face it, I question my sanity every fucking day. But since I've established there was something here, my negativity and depression have not been as deep as they were, although they have certainly still persisted - just not as badly. I've been meaning to get some sage, as was suggested by the majority of the people in the APC group, but one of my hubby's, Steve, didn't really want me to get any, that all I needed was the Power of Jesus Christ, so tonight I cleansed the house in the name of Jesus, casting all negative and malicious spirits out of my house and my life, and imagined the house filled with the white light of Jesus. The house certainly feels lighter, more positive, and more home again, so I'm just going with that it worked. The Power of Jesus Christ commands it!

So, with that paranormal shit taken care of, let's get down to what else I've been doing the last few weeks. The weekend that the picture fell, Ian was in Texas, so it was just Steve and myself that weekend. We always enjoy each other's company and certainly had a great weekend, but we did miss our third, so we were very happy when Ian joined us again last weekend. Steve and I do both love that boy, as much as we do each other, and even though all three of us want to choke the everylasting shit out of each other once in a while (haha), that love is deep and binding. When Ian came back home, he brought me some Hot Wheels that he'd gotten for me, which was very sweet of him to help support my new habit. 😉 I love all three of them that he got for me.

Last weekend, I also became much sicker than I had been. For about 5 weeks up to that point, I'd been battling what I was calling a sinus infection. Lots of nasal congestion, sneezing, blowing my nose, bloody snot, not feeling well, etc. However, last weekend it just became so much worse and also spread into my chest. I was not fun company for Ian and Steve, I was cranky, I was feeling 5 times worse than I had been previously, and Sunday morning when I woke up, I thought the stuff had done turned into pneumonia and that Steve was going to have to take me to the ER. Fortunately, things settled down and I realized I most likely didn't have pneumonia (but I wasn't going to rule it out, either). I toughed it out and made it through the weekend, even though I did go to bed early both Friday and Saturday nights, leaving Steve and Ian to their own devices, and they left early Sunday so that I could rest. Now Saturday night, Steve and I also had to attend the 7th Annual Wine and Whiskey Festival that the store helped put on. Brady, one of my coworkers, had asked for a ride to the festival, and would get a ride home with another coworker, Tyler, who is also Brady's housemate. When we got to Brady's house to pick him up, I was already starting to feel bad again and let Brady drive us there. It was funny when he talked about the power my van has, that he's not used to it. Hey, there was a reason I chose the van over the Rav4 that I'd gone to look at! So anyway, we arrived at the fest, and Steve and I stayed about 45 minutes before I just had to go. I can't even remember if he drove or if I did when we left, but we arrived home safely regardless, picked up Ian, and then went to eat. We were going to go to Olive Garden, but between the wait, the cost, and my not feeling well, we decided on a nearby fish house instead. Sunday we were going to eat with Blaise and Shane, but between my feeling very bad, and Steve deciding they were leaving early so I could rest, we ended up just grabbing some food in the Wendy's drive through, then they dropped me off and went home. The rest of the day, I spent on the couch, napping off and on and just trying to get through the day. I worked the first 3 days of the week (a total blur) and finally on Wednesday decided I would have to do something, so I made an appointment for Thursday morning to see my physician, got some antibiotics finally, and then took Thursday and Friday as sick days to stay home and rest. I worked Saturday, after we had lunch with Shane and Blaise at Panda Express, and definitely felt a little better by then, but today I can most definitely tell the difference!

So now, gentle reader, you are pretty much caught up on my life! The highlights, anyway! So now I'll go into the pictures below. The first three are of Maggie over the last 2 weeks. Playing on Ian's bed, sleeping on the bed, and then pretending to sleep on the arm of the sofa last night. Oh, and going back to Ian's bed/bedroom - he's taken to sleeping with Steve every weekend now, so there was no worry about him sleeping in the same room with the negative entity. And speaking of that entity, the next 6 images are of the fallen picture, the broken, frame, the nail and the wire, and where the hooks broke through the frame when it was struck from the wall. Decide for yourself just what it all means there!

Last Saturday, we did go to Columbia, specifically to Barrett's Nursery, where Steve likes to get a lot of his plants. It was Ian's first time, so he did some doll/plant photography, while I just took pictures of plants and Ian and Steve. There are 19 of those images, then the following 3 are when we stopped at Vessely's Nursery on the way home from Columbia. I should have snatched some of the pics Ian took of his dolls there, which was the whole reason for stopping, mainly because of the huge bouganvillea growing in the greenhouse. Next is a single image of Steve with the coffee cup his mom got for him at Dollar General, which is in the shape of a flower pot and says "Bloom where you are planted" on it, which are wise words for us all. After that, there's a pic of some plants, that I thought were "greens" of some sort, coming up where I used to throw scratch grain for my chickens. I looked it up, and it's a plant called rapeseed. It's in the mustard/collards family. Very interesting.

Next are images I took today when we went to Home Depot (or the Homo Depot, as we like to call it). Various images of some of the gorgeous plants, as well as 2 pics I took of Ian's doll with a beautiful hydrangea. The first of the 2 was my attempt, the second was with Ian's guidance on how to photograph two beauties. The second one certainly makes a stronger statement! The Home Depot pics end with a picture of Steve with some agapanthus, and with Ian taking a pic of his doll.

The last 3 photos are of Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars. Surprising, I know! The first one is of the 3 that Ian got for me and presented to me last weekend. I definitely love them, especially Ken's 1956 Corvette from the Barbie movie (that I've never seen lol). Ian definitely has though! The second Hot Wheels pic is three that I bought this afternoon when I ran to Dollar General. And then the last is a set of 5 Matchbox oldies that I love. Unboxed, because I want to experience them directly. Now I do keep the majority of my cars in their boxes, but let's face it, these will never really be worth anything when so many are made, so it's ok if I unbox some of them lol.

So, that's it for this entry. Definitely one of my longer ones, if not THE longest! I'm certainly not going to try and compare though lol, that would take too much energy. Have a fantastic evening and upcoming week! I'll try not to wait so long to post again, haha, but y'all have heard that before too! Anyway, stay golden!

George